Letting It Grow Out

I’ve cared far too little about haircuts for far too long. There are a few reasons: Firstly, I wasn’t blessed with hair that can be molded well. Even with the best of stylists, my options are limited. Secondly, I was burned in 10th grade by the wife of the devil. She was some ignorant stylist in Longview, Texas that convinced me of a perm. Remember the 80’s when guys got the back of their hair permed? It was the ‘business in the front, party in the back’ look. Not a mullet, technically speaking. So this idiotic stylist thought the opposite would suit me well. She persuaded me to get a perm in the front and keep it straight in the back. The only person on Earth more stupid than her was me. I was convinced to give it a whirl, mainly out of frustration over point number one. It was horrible. I still have nightmares about having to go to school looking that way. The problem in those days was that an error of this variety could not be erased by simply going to a different barber for a buzz cut. I missed that by one year. I was in 11th grade when the buzz cut look became popular. I had to let this party fade naturally. Tick tock. It took months. Only by the grace of God are there no pictures of me during this stage of life. So as far as any reader is concerned, this never happened. I’m not sure it did now that I think about it. If it did, I’m scarred by it. Thirdly, I suffer from a lack of patience. Waiting to get my haircut is painful. There is a Supercuts along the path from my office to my home. On my way home from work, I’ll poke my head in. If more than one pathetic soul is waiting, I keep walking. Can’t stand waiting for a haircut.

Born in the summer of ’68, this summer brings forth a milestone birthday. So in spending time reflecting on what needs to change now that I’m getting older, I’ve realized that my hair deserves better. It’s time to get slightly more serious about haircuts. So yesterday, I went to Elana at Hair’s Castle. I’ve never given that name much thought, but Hair’s Castle is a very confusing name. Hair’s Castle? They give balloons to their customers. And lollipops. Sam and I went Saturday. His chair was in the shape of a race car. He got to watch Sponge Bob. I did not sit in that chair. They also have chair-shaped chairs for big people.

Elana is from Russia. She does Christine’s hair too. She’s really good they say. So I sit down and she asks me what we want to do. Right now you might think this story is going somewhere. It’s really not. Nothing crazy happened. I’m just up early on Memorial Day morning. Too bored to read.

So instead of “Use a two around the sides and back and scissor cut it to finger length on top”, I say “What do you think”? Those words don’t get uttered at Supercuts. I felt safer at Hair’s Castle. At first she thought we should start letting it grow out. Upon further assessment, she realized we have a few cowlicks. So Elana decided we should do a 2 around the sides and back, but not touch the top. She has plans. “You need to keep coming to me. We’ll work on this.”

Did I mention I’m turning 40 this summer? We have mirrored doors to our medicine shelves at home in our bathroom. When you open both of them you can create a mirror triangle. Periodically, I’ll insert my head into the middle of said triangle. I usually do this when I’m bored. It’s weird to see yourself from different angles. Well, lately I’ve noticed that when I enter the mirror triangle, an optical illusion of some sort almost makes it look as though I’m “thinning” on the top of my head. Strange.

Back to the chair-shaped chair. “We’re going to leave the top alone”, she said. Using her scissors to circularly point to a region, she continued: “You have a spot we want to let grow out a bit”. Elana is smooth. Not only has she convinced me that I need to start using her for strategical reasons, she’s sensitive. I suppose that is Haircuttery 101: Never call it what it is. There’s no faster way to lose a customer.

Next time you see me, ask me to tilt my head so you can see where I’m letting my hair “grow out a bit”.

I’ll also let you see the hair inside my ears.

Sring Break 2008: Puerto Rico

We had a wonderful time in Fajardo, Puerto Rico. A little fun in the sun was just what we needed. Enjoy the pictures!